alive
exist
live
function
mechanical
expectations from others
deliverance of said expectations
or
no deliverance
doesn’t matter
it’s just another thing
another event
another another
eventually
you stop feeling anything
you’re a rock
you’re no more
you’re lost
as am i
again and again
over and over
you feel void
emptied
stark
everything’s so blurry
what’s truth?
hmm?
blimey.
Took a walk with mom and pa a few nights ago, just around my neighbourhood. Man…it was good. Didn’t realize how much i missed cool night air, space, freedom, space, freedom, spa…
Also, i missed the feeling of elusion beneath thick veils of night’s darkest shade. aaaaaaahh…..
That was right before the haze ya.
Anyway.
Walking gives me plenty of time to think, seeing as there’s nothing much else one can do while strutting through lamp-lit suburbun tracks. And..i wonder, have you ever realised that most of the time, we’re fighting ourselves? Random random thoughts..flow through my head….and out again. Need to learn to keep them inside.
We talked about politics. relationships. Korean churches. detours. college application. studies. each other. Heard the rumblings of the Putra LRT passing overhead, its dimly lit cabins splashing shadows that dance across the ground. i love the effect that light can play on darkness and darkness on light. Gorgeous.
Benefits of living in an old, affluent neighbourhood include eye-candy in the form of HUGE, picturesque houses with indoor swimming pools, taking long winding walks and sesat-ing somewhere within…entertaining really.
Confession.
I’ve never actually set eyes on some of the houses here. The walls surrounding them are just too freaking high. 20 ft? Or more.
I dream of dreams.
.surreal.mystical.whimsical.twisted.dark.strange.beautiful.layered.recurring.nonsensical.
miss those dreams.
-heheheheheh-
Got to play on a 300 year old stradivarius.
*winx*
